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Monday, May 16, 2022

It's A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

 I love days like today. Warm and sunny and oh so pleasant. Somewhat windy but I will take it. 

I made myself get some stuff done today. Not a lot but lately I have been letting things slide. I did a little bit of work on the garage bathroom that I have been working on for a long time. Well, I haven't really been working on it, just intending to. I didn't order enough wall cover. Placed a new order today and it should be here tomorrow. Will finish that, finish the baseboard edging and then son will hopefully install the new toilet. It is not a professional job but it will sure look a whole lot better than it did. Got some clothes put away, changed bedclothes in Master bedroom, removed any trash in all rooms and returned misplaced items to their proper place. Cleaned the dining room, bathroom and bedroom. Straightened up the living room. 

I was at work on Saturday when I got a text from my 6th grade teacher. He asked me if I was a good organizer. I replied that I am sometimes, lol. So his 77th birthday is in July and he wanted to have a class reunion of our 6th grade class and the class behind us and he wanted me to organize it but he also didn't want anyone to know it was his idea, lol. I tried to wheedle out of it, but then I felt bad because I feel like maybe he is lonely. Several years ago when we first became friends on Facebook I would hide that I was online because every time I logged on he was sending me messages. Myself and a couple of other class members met him for lunch a few years ago. So now I have to find a yearbook to verify the members of the class behind us. He sent me a list but he wasn't sure it was complete. I don't think many will show up as we only had 26 in our class and 5 have passed away. At least 3 live out of state. I have reserved a shelter at a park. Hopefully this goes well:)

My goal for this evening is to get paper work under control, make sure bills have been paid and fill out paperwork for surrendering 2 life insurance policies of hubbies. He didn't want to surrender them, but his mom was the one paying on them for years (as in decades) and she was the beneficiary. Since she has passed away we were going to change me to the beneficiary but I feel that he should be the one to get the proceeds. They are not huge amounts but they will make a nice cushion.

Tomorrow I will be visiting my mother. I didn't go see her last week as I had visited with her on Mother's Day. On Wednesday my car was in the shop and on Thursday I had a Dr. appt. I did see her on Friday evening at the visitation for my uncle who had passed away. 

They say that death comes in 3s. In February my mother-in-law passed away, in April my husband's very best friend passed away and then 2 weeks later our grandson was killed in an auto accident. So maybe the saying isn't correct or my uncle passing away is a new cycle? It is worrisome as my mom is 91, my aunt(wife to the uncle that passed away) is not doing well at all and one of my other uncles is in bad shape and my brother-in-law is scheduled for a triple bypass in June. 

Goodness Gracious, it is already 8pm. I better get going on all that paperwork if I don't want to be up all night!!

Friday, May 6, 2022

Calling All Rachels

 Can you perhaps help me? I have a habit of vetting hooked on a blog and then I will somehow lose track of it. Part of the problem is because I will read blogs on so many different formats, such as my phone, my Kindle, my desktop and a laptop. A couple of days ago I was reading a blog. Now I don't remember if the blogger mentioned another blogger or the second blogger commented or I noticed the second blog on a blogroll. So I was all like " hey, I used to read that blog". So for the last couple of days I have been catching up on Intrepid Debt Blog.  I got all caught up when all of a sudden I kind of remembered another blog I used to like to read. But I can't remember the name. Pretty sure the bloggers name was Rachel and her husband's name is Bill. She has a daughter and 2 sons. The only thing I can remember about the title was that in some way it  referred to improving your life or making things better or something along those lines. 

Anyway, if that rings a bell for anyone, please help me out with the title or a link! I deleted my blogroll but I think I will add that back for reference. Any recommendations on blogs that you like? Sometimes I will check out a person's blogroll to find a new blog. But I always like to start at the beginning of a blog and sometimes it is hard to navigate through the pages. 

Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised to find an extra $250 in a bank account. Indiana us issuing a one time tax refund if $125 per taxpayer due to higher than expected revenues. I will take it! Right after I saw that deposit I looked at hubby's spending account and he had just spent $286 at Walmart. He actually paid $33 for 8lbs if chicken wings. Oh my. I live me a chicken wing, but not at that price! 

I believe we are going to daughters tomorrow to visit. We were supposed to go to the zoo 2 weekends ago but we had to cancel since we were in KY and waiting on news of the grandsons funeral. We had to cancel a visit 2 weeks before that because of hubby's best friends funeral. I will be happy to retire and not have to work every other weekend. Can't wait to see my daughters children and get some good hugs in  

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Wednesday

 Sitting here on break just waiting on time to pass by. I had Monday and Tuesday off. I have to say that Saturday and Sunday at work were really tough days to get through. On Sunday I worked in a spot where I was by myself and my only interaction was with the person giving me breaks. People are weird about death. Even the people I did walk by or see seemed to be avoiding eye contact. Now I know I most likely would be in tears if someone gave me condolences, but I also felt shunned. Sunday was pretty much the same way except that I was in a different area. At the end of the day I had a conversation with the only person who had discussed the death of my grandson the day before. I told him that I apologize if I acted weird a few years ago when he lost his stepson. He said no, but he was pretty much in his own little world at the time. 

Today is better. I am in a position where I can't avoid people and I am not quite as emotional or at least I am in more control.

On Monday I went to visit my mom. I didn't think my sister #1 was going to make it there because she was going to the Dr with her husband to discuss his upcoming heart bypass surgery. But she showed up later. It is rare that she doesn't go there. She usually arrives around noon and leaves at 5pm. I am thankful for her. 

Tuesday I went with hubby to see the ortho Dr. Hubs still has limited movement in his left arm. He has to do some different exercises and go vack in 3 weeks. If no improvement he will get the needle. The Dr also suspects he tore his rotator cuff in the fall. 

I spoke with the HR lady today to find out why hubby didn't receive his short term disability pay last week. Evidently she just skipped right over him! He should receive it by Friday or as late as Monday. She kept apologizing. Hey, stuff happens, am I right?Last week I only received pay for the 3 hours and 45 minutes I worked the previous week. Tomorrow's check will have the bereavement pay. It can't be paid until you provide proof of death. 

Received word last night that one of my uncles by marriage had a stroke and will be in hospice. My aunt isn't doing well either. It is scary when relatives are older and not in great health. I have 4 aunts or uncles who are in pretty bad health, so would not be surprised if any of them pass soon. Then there's my 91 year old mom. Still going strong for a 91 year old!

She is under constant surveillance! We have Ring cameras set up. There is one at front door, the living room, kitchen, TV room and her bedroom. All 4 of us girls can check the cameras on our phones at any time. It is reassuring. Then there are the cameras set up outside......sad that people think it is OK to steal off a 91 year old widow.

Friday, April 29, 2022

UPDATE-THIS IS A LONG ONE

 Well here I am. Definitely the worse for wear. Life has thrown us some curveballs, that is for sure. I just thought I would get on here and try to write it out because I really need an outlet. Have been trying to be strong for husband but sometimes I just want to yell or scream and curse and vent. I should be making supper but I just d.o.n.t. feel like it.

Let's start with debt. We haven't done too bad with pay off. But we(I) have added some. We still of course have the mortgage. We also have Discover, Slate, Venture, 2 Care Credits and Value City. These are the accounts that we had been working on when I blogged before. I have added a 401K loan and Ashley furniture. (I might have done that before I quit blogging before if I remember right). We also have 2 medical debts that we had all this time that I just never listed. We actually had 5 at one time but we paid another one off last month so we are down to 2. Unfortunately we are adding more medical debt as I speak but hopefully we can pay that off as we go. Other than that I have added some Amazon and Walmart debt, though the Walmart gets paid off occasionally.

So, on to other things. My #3 sister is back in a wheel chair after another leg break. She is the one who suffers with syringomyelia. Her husband had prostrate surgery a few months back but seems to be doing fine now. January was a pretty calm month for us, thank goodness.  Then came February.

At the beginning of February my mother in law was admitted to the hospital. We were under the impression that she was getting ready to be realeased. My husband and I work at the same place. One day he tracked me down in the break room to tell me that his stepdad had been trying to call him but when he called back there was no answer. I said I would try to get through but I couldn't but that I would keep trying as I had the opportunity. A short time later I got a text from one of my husband's cousins telling me that the stepdad was trying to get hold of my husband. So I told my husband over the walkies that we have to wear that he needs to call his cousin _______ or try his dad again. So as I was talking to a coworker and getting updated on work so that I could take his place while he went to break  my husband came up to me and said that his mom was in a coma and it did not look good. So we immediately left work and raced home and arranged for my sister #2 to come and get the dog. My son who lives with us would take care of the cats. We got packed and headed out.. It usually takes us about 5.5 to 6 hours to get there as we often have to make pee stops. We were about and hour and a half away when his cousin called to ask where we were and we found out we were only about 5 miles ahead of her. So we stopped for our one and only pee break and grabbed a sandwich(we had left for work at 5am and I had not had a thing all day because I got distracted when hubby found me in breakroom) while we waited for cousin to catch up. We waited with her while she got something to eat and then took off. We finally made it to the town we needed to get to when husband's stepdad called to say that my mother in law had passed about an hour before. His son(my husband's step brother) was with him. We all went ahead and stopped at the hospital and was able to see mother in law before the funeral home came to take her. After that cousin went back home and we went to the house with stepdad. It was close to midnight by this time. The next day hubby, stepdad and stepbrother went to finalize arrangements and I stayed at the house because I didn't think I was needed but mother in law's dog had been moping since she was in the hospital and I didn't want to leave him alone anymore than we had to. We stayed with stepdad until the funeral and then stayed with him an extra day before we had to head home. 

So now we make it to March,  Hubby is having a hard time with his mom's death. My stepson had died 2.5 years ago and hubs has never got over that. One day hubby comes rushing into the house saying he fell off a ladder and hurt himself bad. His mouth was bleeding so we were taking care of that when hubby threw the washcloth into the sink and declared that he was fine! So he took it easy that night and the next day I had some errands to do and when I got back to the house he asked me if I would make him a Dr. appointment as he was hurting. I said I would not do that but I would take him to urgent care. So off we go. Urgent care asked a few questions and sent us to the emergency room as falls from ladders are considered potential traumatic injury. The emergency room took 6298 thousand x-rays, yes, I exaggerate, but it was a lot. The xrays did not indicate any internal bleeding or breaks so they gave him a splint for his wrist which was giving him quite a bit of pain. So we fill out FMLA papers and make an appointment with the work clinic Dr. for the next week. Hubby is still in pain and having trouble moving his arm. The clinic Dr. has him come back the next week and he is still in pain with limited use of his arm. More xrays. His arm is broken. So then we wait to get into an ortho Dr.  

In the meantime, Hubby's very best friend who thought in December that he had beaten liver cancer but found out that his cancer was back in another spot is not doing well. The best friend passed away very early on a Wednesday morning. Of course it is the week that I have to work Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. The family had already made some plans so friends viewing was on Friday evening and his funeral was on Saturday. I called off work on Friday since there was no way hubby could drive himself to the funeral home and since I don't get off work until 6pm and it is at least 30 minutes back to the house to pick him up and then another 30 minutes back to funeral home. This puts me at 6 occurences for absenteeism. We are allowed 7 and termination on the 8th.  The funeral was beautiful. The casket was made of barnwood and there was a picture of the friend and his dog and horses engraved on the lid. On the way to the cemetery we drove by his house and honked the horns for the dogs to look out the window and see their man go to his final resting place. At the cemetaey they had his horses their also. After the service they released mourning doves. (don't worry, the doves come back to their handler). My husband talks or texts with the widow every couple of days. She is really having a hard time accepting the death and is so very angry.

So, about a week after this, hubby gets a text from another cousin and she mentions that she did not know that Uncle ______ had had 2 mini strokes. Uncle _____ is hubby's step dad. Well, we didn't know either. So hubby calls step dad(and keep in mind that hubby calls him about every other day and asks him how he's doing). After they talk hubby tells stepdad that he wants him to talk to me. As he is handing me the phone hubby tells me to ask him about the mini strokes. So I did. Of course he down played it. So here is another worry. Step dad's son does live fairly close to him but step brother is very closed off and has not given us his contact information. Mother In Laws death was the first time I had met him and I have been around for about 16 years! 

So,  2 weeks after the death of hubby's best friend. It's a Wednesday morning and I am talking with a couple of coworkers and one of our tech's, getting ready to send someone to break when I get a phone call from hubby. He is crying, sobbing, can hardly talk. Our 8 year old grandson was killed in a car accident. It had actually happened Tuesday afternoon so I don't know why we didn't find out until Wednesday at almost 10am.  So I leave work and rush home and we pack up and take the dog to my sisters and head back down to KY.  We go all the way to stepdad's house which is about 2 or 2.5 hours away from where the grandkids live but we didn't know if we would be welcomed or not. So we wait and wait. A GO
FUND  ME page was set up. Then I talked to grandson's mom and she says that grandson is going to be cremated.  So hubs and I ask my sisters to arrange a $2000 contribution to the GoFundMe and we would pay back whoever when we got life insurance money from hubby's mother's death. It was not a very big policy but we thought the grandson's mom was having him cremated because she couldn't afford a funeral. Our contribution put the fund over $13000, I believe. About half an hour after we did that, the grandsons mom called crying her heart out because 2 people had each donated $2000 to the fund and then the principal of grandson's school called her to tell her that a funeral home was going to take care of all the arrangements at no charge. But she was still having the child cremated because she wants to keep him near her. This is tearing husband apart because when his son died he was married to this same woman who decided that she wanted him cremated. This tore up both my husband and my mother in law who wanted to have him buried. So, having a funny feeling, I texted with my sister who had arranged the $2k contribution and asked her if maybe she accidentally donated twice. She said no, the contributions were made 17 minutes apart and her bank account only shows 1 charge. Then sister #2 says that "oh, that may have been me, I meant to contribute $200 but accidentally put in an extra 0". The next day she said it wasn't her, she just thought she would take the credit. Pretty sure the truth is she was loopy on her meds and didn't know what she was doing. 

So this is late Thursday afternoon and the grandson's mom says she is not talking to the funeral home until Sunday to make arrangements. I am in a panic because I am allowed 3 days off work for death a grandchild. Wednesday did not count, but Thursday, Friday and Monday would be my 3 excused days. I could get another day without pay for traveling more than 250 miles, but even though we travaled more than 250 miles to get to stepdad's house, the place where the funeral is going to be is less than 200. So, the funeral ends up being on Wednesday. Now, keep in mind, when we were told that the child was going to be cremated we just thought that had already happened. We walk in and there is that sweet little angel laying in his casket looking just as beautiful in death as he  did in life. So now we think there will be a burial but then we find out that he was still being cremated after the service. Neither one of us had considered that there would be an actual viewing. I have to say that the visitation and service was one of the longest 6 hours of my life. The heart ache and grief not to mention the drama was overwhelming. Fortunately, I was off work Wednesday, so I just get another occurence for Tuesday, which puts me at 7 occurences.  I will have to work 385 hours to work it off, so hopefully I don't have a flat tire or get flooded in where I can't make it to work!

When we got home after the service (at 1am, that trip home is a long story in and of itself, we should have made it home by around 10:30pm at the latest) the life insurance check was here so we went today(Friday) and deposited that. So, anyway, I work Saturday and Sunday. On Monday I will go visit with my mom and take the $2000 we owe my sister#1. Sister#1 goes to visit my mother every day but probably will not be there on Monday as her husband just found out he has to have heart bypass surgery and is going on Monday to the doctor to get details on that.  On Tuesday hubby goes back to ortho Dr. for his arm. I don't think he will be able to return to work as he is still having issues with movement.

Well, anyway, that just about covers most of the last 4 months. Hoping for better times ahead and to get through a whole day without shedding tears, not just for myself but for so many others, also.

Sorry if I rambled or made no sense.

Thursday, December 16, 2021

The End

 💘

Well, my friends, I am going to be shutting down this little blog. I don't feel as if I am giving it enough attention-though my intentions are always good.

We have come a LONG way in the last 3.5 years since my first post. We started out with 37 accounts that needed to be taken care of. in addition to adding some along the way.  We are now under 10.

We have gone from being almost 3 months behind on mortgage to paying it before it's due and close to having a month in reserve. Utilities are being paid before due date and we have received our deposit back from the electric company after making 12 months of consecutive on time payments. That took us over 6 years to accomplish!!

I estimate that we will have all consumer and medical debt paid off by the end of August. We will still have the mortgage, 401k loans and the $5000 that I owed my dad when he passed. We can probably have the $5000 paid off before the end of the year.

It has been a hard journey. Could we have got to this point sooner? Absolutely. We had a lot of curve balls thrown at us over the years. Car repairs, having to replace my car when it got totaled, excessive pet care costs, insurance deductibles from hailstorms and tree damage, tree removal,  some burial costs for my stepson

Could we have earned more? Absolutely. Hubs and I have not worked but a few days of extra overtime in the last year. 35+ plus years of working in a factory takes it's toll on a person. 12 hour shifts take a toll on a person. Trying to be available for grandchildren and a newly widowed mother takes it's toll. This pandemic and crazy, toosy turvy world takes its toll. 

Maybe I will be back eventually when I feel I can do a blog justice and our only remaining debt is the mortgage.

Until then my friends, lurkers and passersby, thank you for your support and may God bless us all.

Terry, Also known as Mearlynn or Busted&Disgusted.